They’re not Single Ladies Either

This article from the Globe and Mail suggests that the father of this now famous YouTube video is taking too hard a line on his child’s exploration of gender.  (This article from Salon thinks the dad is a big jerk.)

I think the video is hilarious.  And I don’t think the father is actually trying to stifle his child’s sexuality.  I think something just slipped out, it hurt the kid’s feelings and he apologized.

But if the argument is that we should let the boy be a “single lady,” are we also arguing that the girls should be (or already are) “single ladies” too?  Because that sounds pretty problematic to me.

I won’t care if my future son wears glitter and sings show tunes.  But I will care if my future daughter thinks that putting a ring on it is her life’s goal, and that trying to make an ex jealous enough to marry her is the makings of a healthy relationship.  But maybe that’s just me.

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it


4 thoughts on “They’re not Single Ladies Either

  1. But what if your son or daughter does just want to get married? It’s nice that some of us have ambitions to conquer the world or make a difference. Some of us will only be happy when we’re finally married and have kids. I understand your point, but I’m just asking an aside question: As a parent, will you support your kids ambitions regardless of what they are?

    1. It’s not about marriage. I like marriage.

      It’s about telling girls that the goal is marriage rather than a good relationship. It’s about different lessons for girls than are given to boys. It’s about a superficial understanding about what marriage is and what it isn’t (the fairytale that girls are fed). I don’t want my daughter or son to have goal of marriage just for the sake of marriage, but rather a goal of a healthy, respectful relationship (if they want a relationship). If you have to leave a guy and make him jealous because he didn’t “put a ring on it” then it doesn’t sound like the best relationship to me.

      The media is so full of crap. None of it helps people understand what is really involved in making things work.

    2. My point was really that this video got a lot of attention because of the father’s response to the boy, but no attention for his lack of response to the girls.

  2. I figured that’s what you were saying regarding the healthy relationship. It wasn’t really clear whether your beef was with the fact that someone’s goal could be to get married or something else.

    Needless to say pop songs are not the greatest place to find meaningful discussion of relationships. But they are a great place to get your groove on.

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