Inspired by my friends over at ivillage who wrote about the worst Christmas songs , I give you the Best Worst Christmas songs. Because, let’s face it. Christmas songs aren’t good – at least not in the way you would consider any other song good. Just like the big disgusting meal we like to eat 3 days in a row that started out wonderful and spirals into shovelling calories because they’re there, listening to Christmas songs is great at the beginning and painful by the end. But we still go back to them because they offer things beyond the music itself: nostalgia, family (good or bad), community, and socially condoned cheese. So I give you my best of the worst Christmas songs for 2012.
#1 – Dominc, The Italian Christmas Donkey
This one’s for Jessica. We discovered this one year quite accidentally. It’s a ridiculous song. I have no idea what it even means (is there an Italian Christmas story I should be made aware of?), but it makes her ecstatic when she hears it. Plus, it’s funny to make donkey noises.
#2. Last Christmas
I prefer the King Nancy version, but I’m biased. The Wham version is pretty good too. It’s sappy, and poppy, and basically the best. And I know a lot of people who despise it. *The Hilary Duff version does not qualify for this category. It is just awful. Don’t listen to it.
#3 – Carol of the Bells
Umm, because Home Alone, you guys (Every time I hear it I feel the need to run home and set up my house for battle.) It’s a bit over the top, and not really something you can sing along to if you’re not a choir boy, but I love it.
#4. Bob Dylan – Do you Hear What I Hear? and Little Dummer Boy.
In the category of so bad it’s good. All my hate for these songs washes away once the sounds of smoker voice sing them.
#5. Celine Dion – Don’t Save it All for Christmas Day
I don’t need to explain myself to you haters.
#6. Shirley Temple – I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
Because it is absurd